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january 8, 2003 - 11:14 p.m. i had to take some days off from things. from writing and painting. i actually worked on a new song. it might totally suck but it feels good to be totally into writing a song. i was starting to think i was only going to be able to express myself visually for awhile, but i have had this song in my head for 3 days. lyrically it's pretty different. it's not very focused at all and it isn't very smart and it isn't witty. it is just me blabbering about some things that are on my mind. i feel like maybe nobody will like it. but it's important stuff for me to sing about alone in my room. that started out as my only reason to write songs but selling albums and playing shows makes it impossible to at least not occasionally wonder "hmmmm, is this good enough?" who cares. jeez louise. it is nice to want to play more than i want to crack my knuckles. rumor has it i have almost a page in the new spin magazine. the one with sum 41 on the cover. i can't find it around these parts though. i'll have to get one in the city on saturday. fucking strange right? the picture is in my backyard with my little friends. they are excited to see it. i like that they would be just as psyched if it was the jc penney catalogue. the wish book. i guess i'd be just as psyched too. if i was modeling a velour upholstered lazy boy.as for the whole house being sold thing, i have sort of come to terms with it. but i still don't really feel like talking about it. maybe someone will donate one of those little mobile homes to me and i will go on a permanent tour playing at slumber parties at other peoples parents' houses.saturday was akida's birthday. i gave him the sanford and son marathon on tv land for his birthday. he liked that a lot. i liked that the sanford and son marathon was on for me to give. toby came up to visit on sunday and we made coconut date balls to take on our date to see "the two towers". that movie put a lump in my throat for at least an hour and a half. action packed. that's all i'll say.yesterday i went to tina's house and watched three consecutive episodes of one of those kids in the hospital shows. there was a little girl with cancer and a boy with a giant lip and a boy with spina bifida. it was really sad. then we watched jeopardy and wheel of fortune. then 2 episodes of that 70's show. today i got an email from a guy at troma films and they want to use the moldy peaches album as the soundtrack for a movie they are making called "tales from the crapper". i wrote back to the guy and told him that the toxic avenger was the first movie to make me piss myself and please can i be an extra that gets brutally murdered. and he said quite possibly if i can be in LA for filming this time next year. if i could become a regular extra that gets murdered in movies my life would be complete.and i got an email from the knitting factory and i am going to play in the old office space there on january 19th. they let me book the night. it will be double deuce, diane cluck, regina spektor, and me. 8pm. 7 bucks. i am not sad today. i wish it wasn't so icy out though. and that there wasn't snow piled high on the sidewalks. i feel like a could use a bike ride. all cabin feverish. tonight i watched the road rules real world battle of the sexes season premiere and the bachelorette season premiere and the celebrity mole season premiere. i haven't gotten sucked into any shows for a longass time (well except american idol) but i am prepared to watch these bastards every week. then�
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